Ethereal

Still not feeling great.
Tim is still putting 0% effort into the relationship, and I'm trying not to chase him up about it, as much as I feel the urgent need to pick up the phone and talk to him.. I need to step back, and let him contact me. I can't go running after him, not this time..
The balls' in his court, as they say.

I feel.. very "heavy" inside. I'm not sure if that makes sense but it is the only word I can use to describe the feeling I'm having. It is like this...

*sigh*

... I'm not sure how to feel. I feel sad that everything seems to be breaking around me, and disappointed that the person who can fix everything that is broken, seems so distant and apathetic. It kinda breaks my heart. I know he could be so much more, if only he'd try harder.. and I don't understand what is standing in his way.

I just feel like I'm in all of these pieces; and I can't put them back together again. They don't fit back the way they used to.. when...

I feel quite good.. very bored. It's been one of those 'there is nothing to do and I don't really want to do anything' days. Nothing seems to be catching my interest. >_>
But I still feel really bored, either way.

Things have been looking a little better lately, but I also decided, and Tim agreed, for us to have somewhat of a "break" from our relationship. Not a break up, just a break. Stepping things down a bit, while we focus on other things we're dealing with. And I feel...

I feel everything so intensely on an emotional level and yet I find myself feeling completely numb to any response to it. I feel calm and I know I shouldn't be..
Confused, I try to make sense of what lead to this... but I can't. There seems so little reasons and yet somehow -every- reason to bring it to justification.

The most prominent reason for it being, that I am too weak to find the reasons not to let it happen, and I am finding too little strength in the support of others...

You can now have up to 30 images/smilies in your Blog entries. it was previously set at 4 which proved to be extremely restrictive and annoying. I'll later review if 30 is a good number to have it set at.

Thanks to those who also reported that 4 images was too small a limit, it really helps to have...